Self-compassion reminder. During busy or stressful times, it’s easy to be hard on yourself—especially when things don’t go exactly as planned. The way you talk to yourself matters, and that inner dialogue can either add to stress or help you move through it with care.
When you notice critical self-talk, pause and ask yourself: What would I say to a friend in this situation? Chances are, you’d offer understanding, encouragement, and patience—not judgment.
Try offering yourself that same respect:
- Notice when your self-talk becomes harsh.
- Reframe it with kindness and honesty.
- Remind yourself that effort and progress matter.
You deserve the same compassion you give to others. Be gentle with yourself—you’re doing the best you can, and that is enough.
The three parts of self-compassion
Psychologist Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, describes it as having three parts:
- Self-kindness: treating yourself with warmth instead of harsh judgment when you struggle.
- Common humanity: remembering that mistakes and hard times are part of being human. You are not the only one.
- Mindfulness: noticing painful feelings without ignoring them or getting swept away by them.
Try a self-compassion break
The next time you’re having a hard moment, pause and say these three things to yourself, silently or out loud:
- “This is really hard right now.”
- “Other people feel this way too.”
- “What do I need right now to take care of myself?”
Self-compassion isn’t about lowering your standards. Treating yourself with kindness can make it easier to learn from mistakes and keep going.
Resources at UNC
- Self-Compassion Mindfulness: a group for learning to treat yourself with the same warmth and kindness you’d offer a close friend.
- Taming Your Inner Critic: a therapy group for understanding your inner critical voice and changing your relationship with it.
- CAPS: individual and group support for students.
- Healthy Minds Program App: a free app with guided mindfulness practices.